queefilicious:

sharing an umbrella with someone seems cute but in practice it is 100% horrible and you both end up getting angry and wet

(Source: susemoji)

439,845 notes


dmub:
I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everyone else.

dmub:

I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everyone else.

2,107 notes

It’s physically impossible for a woman to reach an orgasm without a man. No, don’t look at me like that - it’s a fact of biology! This explains why women don’t masturbate the way men do, and why lesbian relationships don’t last. Look it up.

(Male) Second Year Biology Major (via shitrichcollegekidssay)

woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow

wooooooooooooooooow

roflllllllllll

(via dynastylnoire)

I’m a biology minor and I can tell you I’ve been able to give myself an orgasm before a man has given me one… Bye.

(via musingsofanawkwardblackgirl)

LMAOHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

(via armslengthaffection)

Lmao! What an idiot

(via gildeddiamonds)

2,647 notes

saintgregory:

literacy is so important.

i just got very hype off the fact that i can prolly do anything in the world simply because i know how to read.

go to the library my nigga.

46 notes

kaleidoscopess:

strivingking:

If you’re in college right now

Check the syllabus for each one of your classes right now while you bullshittin

Don’t fall behind this early in the semester off some bullshit

wise words 

34,396 notes

notinmyyard:

Nobody asked me but yeah you already know.

3,902 notes

  • me: watching tv show
  • me: looks down at phone for 0.002 seconds
  • me: misses entire plot line of episode, introduction of 2 new characters, 1 main character dies, they are in a different country, at some point someone reproduced and offspring are spoiled and someone got a pet cat

305,389 notes


"Everybody wants to be a cat."

"Everybody wants to be a cat."

(Source: vintagegal)

40,693 notes

matthewsagan:

*plays hard to get by staying at home and having no contact with anyone*

(Source: matthewsagan)

958 notes